Re-charging

One of the beauties of being retired is the ability to actually do the things that you really enjoy but never seem to have the time to do when you are fully employed. Or in the case of reading, one of the things that you lose the motivation to do because you are likely spending so much time reading this memo or that report or whatever else you have to read in your job.

For me, getting the chance to rediscover reading "for fun" is always a wonderful part of my re-retirements. I used to love to read. I am not afraid to admit it.. I was a world-class reading nerd when I was a kid. My local library used to have annual summer reading contests, and I'd make it my personal goal to lap everyone else's marker on the board that tracked the number of books we would read. The librarians loved me.

Yet, I found that I lost touch with my inner-reader - and, not to get all new-agey on you, but really, an important part of my soul - when I became overloaded with work (or even school.) Not coincidentally, my overall "joy index" also decreased. I think the thing to realize is... for many of us that are unsatisfied with our work lives... it's actually not just work that is unsatisfying. It's the fact that work takes away from our opportunities to pursue the things that we enjoy, even something as seemingly innocuous as curling up with a good book or working your way through your favorite magazine each month. The daily pressures of work, friends, and living a "successful" life means that the small things get thrown to one side, to be picked up when you "have more time." It's these small things though, these little soul-chargers that really give us the energy, perspective, and motivation to continue slogging through things that sometimes aren't as enjoyable, and putting them off for later often ends up being putting them off for never.

(This isn't to say that I'm encouraging people to power through unsatisfying jobs. Just that every job can have it's unsatisfying moments, and we have to have sufficient reserves of positive energy to get through those moments. More on this in a later post though.)

In any case, in my latest stint as a YRPA, I've had the luxury of reading a number of good books and novels. I finally finished off a Philip Roth novel I was working on for ages, "American Pastoral". I also managed to polish off two Arturo Perez-Reverte books, "The Club Dumas" and "The Queen of the South" - which I both highly recommend. I also read "Seven Summits" by Frank Wells and Richard Bass about climbing the highest peaks on each continent, and "How Starbucks Saved My Life" by Michael Gates Gill which for me, was really not that interesting. I'm working my way through Umberto Eco's "The Name of the Rose" right now, but it's a bit slow slogging, with "The World Without Us" by Alan Weisman waiting on deck.

Trip into my reading list aside, the truth is, reading isn't for everyone. I know plenty of people who really don't want to read a letter more than they have to, and that's fair. However, it's important for everyone to either discover the things that constitute life's little pleasures for themselves (a warm bath? cooking? gardening? making balloon animals?) or re-discover them when they are retired. More importantly, we each have to keep these things in mind when we do venture back out into the working world, as these are the little activities that will help to keep our wells of positive energy full when we most need to tap them. Contrary to what our society seems to instill in us today, taking a little time out of our lives on a regular basis in order to ENJOY our lives is NOT a luxury. It may be a privilege, but it IS necessary. So do it a LOT while you can, and figure out a way to keep doing it, even when you "can't."

Accomplishments

One of the issues I struggle with most in my retirement is dealing with my sense of lack of accomplishment, or on the flip side, learning to self-appreciate. I speak of it as "my sense" rather than an actual lack of accomplishments because I still accomplish things just as I did before - small things everyday, larger things every week or month - just without a client or a boss to know and appreciate everything I do.

In fact, I do a lot these days. I do things for my family, my friends, and myself, much more than I ever did before. I assist my parents with business transactions, I babysit (a lot), I throw baby showers for friends, I throw parties for my in-laws, I read and exercise for myself, among other things. I get lots of thanks, and everyone on Facebook knows I'm the world's greatest aunt and sister. It's all very rewarding, in some ways more so than any work I've done or could do. But in one important way, it falls short of the things I used to say when people asked me what I did that day: "filed a brief," "submitted an expert report" or "won a motion." It doesn't feel like an accomplishment. I'm fully aware that taking care of two nephews under three years of age for a full ten-hour day is an accomplishment, even more so when I did it three days in a row. It just didn't feel like one because it didn't involve a great mental challenge, a judge wasn't waiting to read it, millions of dollars weren't hinging on it.

I miss that part of working, and to remedy that, I am working on appreciating more what I do for myself. But the best remedy is to really think about my job as a whole, and then I realize just how little I miss it. Every time I think about the immense amount of unnecessary stress just for a little bit of satisfaction, and all that I missed out on while spending 80 hours per week at the office, I'm happy to be retired. So happy.